Why is it son...

that you don't know?

"I don't know."

If I hear those three words again, I think I will be sure to pound my own head into the already existing dents on the refrigerator door.

Why?

I don't know. I don't want to admit why? I just want to do it.

His wit and wisdom belongs, in his estimation, to him? Why? It's because he's autistic. By definition...it's his. Solely his. To give it up to us is to lose power. Lose parts of his loosely integrated self...and he can't afford to lose parts until what he knows and what he understands are tightly interwoven, so that he never forgets.

The realities of spatial thought include the lack of total synthesis until every part is understood, integrated....autism is about fighting disintegration...every minute of every day. And no one really teaches how to do that...and few acknowledge that it's necessary.

And there are people without autism who think this way, those whose visual and spatial imagery work well when the verbal and analytical centers of their brains are shut down...the ones I know are most often architects, designers, inventors, and other systems thinkers. One of the most notable example of this in the last century was Frank Lloyd Wright. He drove clients and bosses crazy because he 'didn't know' in design speak...he couldn't draw a single line or sketch until the entire design was complete in his head or...he'd have to start from scratch. Oops. And there he'd be, pencil in hand just hours before a design was due.

Winston Churchill, Sir Francis Galton, Tesla...Faraday...

There are days when he knows. And what he knows comes flying out of a can like one of those silly springy snakes from the gag tin can of nuts...or like a faulty Jack-in-the-Box what pops before the song is done. Whap! Right in my face. And it scares him so, that he's let an idea or thought or creation or analysis fly from the safety of his own space, that he never goes there again...never to the same place again.

Well, son...what of Tao? Does the Tao not apply to you? The universe is not a camera what captures your spirit in the sharing. It merely observes.

Please be observable.

Ya know?

"Yeah. I know."

What do you know? What do you know? What? What?

The seed was planted too deeply. And yet it germinates, and roots, and grows...deep in the earth and inching toward the sun...

"There is a season."

Ah.